HAPPY TOFURKEY DAY. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
I'm still bloated from our Thanksgiving meal at Cracker Barrel. You heard me, Cracker Barrel. We're leaving for St. Louis for a few days, so this here is a no-blog zone. Meanwhile, why not get ready for World Sousveillance Day? Record the lens that records you. We need more of this.

SANTA, IS THAT AN IPOD IN YOUR POCKET OR...
That there is Will Ferrell as S. Claus in Apple's new holiday Switch ads (or Switch parodies, as they call them). Rumor has it they shot several hours of Ferrell kicking it improv style, foaming at the mouth and screaming, which Apple worried would be "too disturbing" for public release. Blogumentary is scouring Limewire in hopes of finding this holiday treasure. (In case you missed them: Switch to Canada and Switch to the Dark Side)

LAPTOP BURNS SCIENTIST'S SCHLONG
My worst fears realised: "The previously healthy father of two remembered feeling a burning sensation after he had been writing a report at home for about an hour with the computer on his lap. The ventral part of his scrotal skin had turned red, and there was a blister with a diameter of about two centimetres..." Mee-youch! Why did it take so long to notice that his genitals were being charred? Now, the CNN headline says he burned his penis, but the medical description says "scrotal skin." I want to know exactly where this man burned his junk. Any clarification is appreciated. [ via As the Apple Turns ]

I'M LOST IN PALACES OF ABSTRACTION
Hello there, my little crime-fightin' animated children. I've been awfully busy creating things that don't really exist. A few good things in the world: Low concert at the newly-renovated Pantages Theatre in Minneapolis. Biographical comics - like documentaries in bite-sized comic chunks! - and the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. Bill Maher's wartime propaganda posters. Kikkoman! New boyfriends from the online and France. All that kissing in all those places. When's the makeout party? Waiting patiently for the first snow.

THE REAL ELLEN FEISS
You remember Ellen, the famous stoner chick from Apple's Switch ads. So was she really stoned? Find out in the first ever Ellen Feiss interview. In a nutshell: she's 15, she was on Benadryl, and she declined Letterman and Leno interviews but is looking at an MTV pilot. Oh, and did you know Errol Morris did the Apple Switch ads? Ellen Feiss is friends with his son. Hamilton.

Oppose Culture War Against Raves! The RAVE Act threatens free speech. Take action here.

T.V. PARTY TONIGHT!
This morning Radio K played Black Flag's "T.V. Party". T.V. PARTY TONIGHT! I turned it up and rocked like I always do. It's so funny, and so poppy. WE'VE GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO, THAN WATCH T.V. AND HAVE A COUPLE OF BREWS What a goofy punk rock anthem. I love it. But... DON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE...WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW, WE'RE DEDICATED TO OUR FAVORITE SHOWS Somehow I'd forgotten that the lyrics were making fun of apathetic losers: T.V. NEWS SHOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE OUT THERE...IT'S A SCARE! YOU CAN GO OUT...IF YOU WANT...WE WOULDN'T DARE! Every other time I've listened to this song I was right there in the living room with them. Drinking beer, chips on the floor, Hill Street Blues and That's Incredible - woohoo! I knew it was tongue-in-cheek, but this time it really hit me that it's a political song skewering the dudes in the living room. I know it's painfully obvious, but I was fooled by the good-time fun rock action. Why don't you get off your ass and do something hey?

Reminds me of repeatedly listening to Fugazi's "Waiting Room" (MP3 lyrics) after finals in December 1990, sitting in my mom's basement reading about the possibility of a draft for Operation Desert Storm. Each listen tightened a notch somewhere inside me, visions of gas masks and guns in my head, until something snapped and there was no looking back. I crafted my shitty "No Blood for Oil" sign that afternoon, complete with a bloody red peace sign. How utterly cliché, and yet totally badass. Pretty soon I was ditching midterms for protests, and ditching pre-management for political science. The sign returned to mom's basement and I returned to my first love (computers!) but it looks like I may have to dust it off. Aye... like the Elvish blade Sting, it glows blue when Texas Republicans are near.

MMM... A NICE HOT CUP OF BLIX
How could I forget what a genius Lileks is? Lileks says chief U.N. inspector Hans Blix (aka "the Sgt. Schultz of international arms inspection" ) makes him picture "a thin bearded guy wearing a thick turtleneck sweater, spooning Blix into a mug in his small flat, scowling at the newspaper. It tastes like cocoa, but it’s not chocolate." Genius.

STEVEN JOHNSON has a web log now. I saw him speak at the Walker a few years ago, when his FEED web site still existed and he was showing cool examples from Interface Culture. I really want to get his new book, Emergence: The Connected Lives of Ants, Brains, Cities, and Software. He has an article on the unreality of The Sims Online. I'm still excited to try it out. I want both Lori and I to join it, then see if we can find each other in this virtual world. Is that romantic or just sick?

PITCHFORK MEDIA'S TOP 100 ALBUMS OF THE 80'S is freshly published. I think we have 30% of these albums. It reminded me I need to get some Mission of Burma and Gang of Four. Ryan Schreiber started Pitchfork back when I was webmaster of Radio K so long ago, when clearly neither of us knew what we were doing but we linked to each other, and it was good. Look at you now! Go, run! (insert scene of father and boy on a beach, chasing a rainbow balloon)

GET UNDERGROUND "creative resistance designed for the emancipation of the human spirit" features cool shit like an article on Culture Jamming: Activism in the 21st Century - this is precisely where my mind has been lately - and two of my favorite things, Porn & Punk! [via Fimoculous]

MORE GEMS FROM INCOMING SIGNALS:
Mad Magazine takes on The Onion | The Works of Kilgore Trout | Creepy blurred out photos of the military filming protesters. I was filmed by the FBI at a "U.S. Out of El Salvador" protest downtown once, so I like to think they have a file on me somewhere. They had guns and riot gear and were blocking the entrance to a federal building. I was afraid to take a picture of them, even though I was there to do a (crappy) Sociology class photo essay on "protest." This was after the Gulf War and I was looking for someplace else to direct my pent-up sexual energy and general frustration with the world. I waited for someone else to take a picture first, and when they didn't get shot, I took one too. I'll post it if I can find it.

My MeFi response to those that would call me an alarmist (or, simply, a stupid moron):

Here's the deal. Our democracy has many built-in tensions, and one of them is the tension between national security and civil liberties (including privacy). Related to that is the tension between national security and our right to know exactly what our government is doing. This is a good, healthy friction that keeps our democracy safe and vital. Checks and balances.

Right now, the most powerful individuals and institutions in America are working to erode our civil liberties in the name of national security. On a good day, when the sun is shining and I've taken my happy pills, I might even believe that this is well-intentioned - to protect us. Sadly, we have a long and ugly history of such power-grabs being used AGAINST us rather than to protect us. "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." To keep the balance between national security and civil liberties healthy, we need to push back. I'm not about to bend over and give John Ashcroft a tub of lubricant. I do not trust him. I'm going to do everything in my power to push back, to protect my freedom. That's not being an alarmist, it's being a patriot.

I have spoken. Bok bok!

I don't mean to alarm you... oh wait, I do... BIG BROTHER IS HERE

Here is my post to MetaFilter:

Secret U.S. court OKs electronic spying Big Brother much? John Ashcroft is well on his way to becoming the next J. Edgar Hoover, or worse. The government can already secretly spy on what books we're reading, thanks to the Patriot Act. Previous MeFi threads have covered the evils of Total Information Awareness (original article) and how it makes everyone a suspect (original article). Now a "secret court" gives the government a green light to spy while the ACLU tries to figure out if there is any recourse.

**** UPDATE ****
Contact your Senator today about dangerous new provisions to the Homeland Security Act!

THE LIBERRY MAN COMETH
2 new blogs sprouted up in our friendship circle -- catch the fever! One of them is Doc Chameleon's Liberry Blooze - "Tales of woe from a civil servant." I can't say it better than Space Waitress: Who is this Chameleon, you ask? Stalwart civil servant by day, guitar wizard by night, filmmaker, movie star, and aficionado of ladies' boots... go check out Liberry Blooze. (The other blog shall remain a mystery for now.)

BORING PERSONAL CRAP Meanwhile... I paid $140 to get my car out of impound today. Unfortunately, during the process of towing it there, the battery was drained and the inside door handle ripped mostly off. Thanks Minneapolis! A few minutes after driving it off the lot, it started to overheat. There is a dark, dark cloud following either me or my car. Makes me miss the days of public transportation. I dropped it off at Autopia, where Space Waitress was recently given a baffling over-the-phone guesstimate of $9000 for her car problems! I believe they also said "taking your car here would be like going to a neurosurgeon for a headache." Especially odd considering Autopia was cited in Women's Press as being a woman-friendly mechanic. Knowing this, I used secret man-language when I called. Man-language is a falsely-confident, no-bullshit, manly-man tone that comes in handy for car repair transactions and bartenders on steroids. I can't reveal the secrets of man-language, but it could involve using first names and firm hand-shaking. I think of it as a mutually accepted lie. Both men puff up their chests unnaturally, each knowing the other's chest isn't really that big, but isn't it fun to pretend they are, and isn't this the way we get things done in manly-man world? Sadly, some men never deflate their chests and they live the lie. Me, I only do it to get my car fixed. And then I walk out the door and collapse and cry like the asthmatic girly-man I really am.

WHAT A WEEKEND
Saturday eve we were lucky enough to have Matt Ehling screen his excellent and disturbing documentary Urban Warrior at our house. It's about the militarization of the police. Much discussion ensued. It was all very grownup and cool. Matt left us with a letter to write our senators with concerning troubling provisions in the Homeland Security Act. So WRITE YOUR SENATOR! I left the party early for the cleverest powerpop available in this country, Fountains of Wayne. Mmmm-mmm! Topped it off with music geek buffoonery at Mitch's place... Dennis Wilson, Fountains of Wayne imports, unheard of pop geniuses like The Davenports, and more I'd remember if Jameson wasn't involved. Things went downhill from there... I'll spare you the details, but my car is out of gas in the impound lot, my coat is ruined, and I was out of commission most of the day.

The good news is, Matt is maybe maybe interested in being Director of Photography for Blogumentary. Yahoo!

BILL MOYERS ON ELECTION 2002: Bill sez: "It is a heady time in Washington — a heady time for piety, profits, and military power, all joined at the hip by ideology and money." Yes. And let's not forget the media is in on this - 6 companies own almost every media outlet.

INFORMATE AND ACTIVATE: No War Blog, the left-right blog opposing an invasion of Iraq. Ruminate This: News, views, activism and a smattering of something else.

THE SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES


White Stripes? Sorry. The Hives? Missed 'em. The Strokes? Not likely. The Vines? Please. Take them away and give me The Soundtrack of Our Lives. I only knew their hit song "Sister Surround" (download) going into the 400 Bar tonight, sadly much like the rest of the 105-sponsored crowd. I didn't know anybody there, although I recognized Gary Louris of the Jayhawks, Rick Fuller, and Ed Ackerson. I bought the CD for $10, like it oughta be. Then they hit the stage. This is an ugly bunch of Swedes, so ugly they're cool and pretty like only Swedish rockers can be. The balding drummer had big eyes and twirled his sticks at every possible moment. Two of the guitar players had the skankiest Brit-hair you'd ever wanna see, topping their skinny denim-clad bodies. The bass player has gold-capped teeth, which I know because his mouth was always half open making rock faces. The lead guitar player had a long Union Jack coat and he did a lot of Pete Townshend rockrobatic moves, including angrily wacking his guitar on the floor which the singer replied to with, "that's not The Who, that's real, this is really happening!" Oh yeah, the singer. Ebbot Lundberg. This is one fat hairy dude. Sort of like Brian Wilson circa 1977 dressed like a Haight-Ashbury rock mystic circa 1967, long black robes flowing around him, with a little mod flava mixed in.

People have compared their sound to many things... Love, The Who, Stones, Velvets, Stooges. In the modern day, if Sloan and The Dandy Warhols mated and their offspring were adopted by a Swedish Iggy Pop, then you'd have... you'd have a bloody mess, that's what you'd have. Never mind that, what sets these lads apart is they're equally at home with a mellow organ solo and the supercharged drum solo. That, and the guitars man. Gibson SG. Check. Roughed up Rickenbacker bass. Check. Double-necked guitar. Check. At one point the singer actually got everyone in the 400 Bar to sit down. He swang from the monitor suspended by chains to the ceiling, fell into the crowd and hammed it up as the music got way down low. He snaked through the crowd, scaring a 105 girl with a sudden scream. Then the vibe started picking up, a little faster, then e x p l o d e ! I shot up as the rock kicked in and the whole place was bobbing and pounding their fists like, fuck yeah! I love shit like that. These guys are for real. Check out their video on VH1.com. Oh yeah... I actually like those other bands. I just needed a good, umm, lede.

KEILLOR STRIKES BACK Gary sez: "Republicans don't like my criticism? Too bad. They have to answer for Norm Coleman's campaign, which exploited 9/11 in a way that was truly evil." Read the whole thing at 52carwashes. It's ugly but true.

MEANWHILE, IN THE LAND OF BLOG or "Blob" as my mom once called it... but now she doesn't, 'cuz she has her own blog! Go mom! Moms really do blog. And she did it all herself, except I helped her with the comments. I also gots fresh linkage from Kate Sullivan for a little comment help yo. Yeeeeeah! Motherf*cker. yeeeaah. [ best voicemail message ever, via Doc Chameleon ]

ADRENALIZED TRAILERS for The Matrix Reloaded and the Rob Zombie flick House of 1,000 Corpses.

Oh... so you want to see my black coloured hair. By popular demand.

GOD LIVES IN ICELAND


Going to a Sigur Ros concert feels like going to church, only in a good way. As Lori said, "Going to church never made me feel that good." Some folks probably do get all tingly and connected-feeling going to church. We feel that way going to Sigur Ros. Choose your path, padawan. I choose to commune with the universe through the idyllic rock music. The conversation involves babies, bright lights, bowing guitars, blurry people hugging, thundering drums and an operatic voice (try force of nature) that pulls me to its core, into a trance and frees me to think about unrelated things. Such as how I feel sad to have missed my friend Alisa, and also tonight's DV-CINEMA DVD release party. I guess communing with the universe has its price. By the way, I coloured my hair black. You heard me, I said "coloured." Also, here's a cool Sigur Ros interview that Lori found.

CONAN THE GERMAN EXPRESSIONIST I made Conan opening credits in my computer animation class. This is not what I envisioned exactly, but my classmates liked it. (Check back for the best thing ever - Conan opening credits with purple fire and pink hearts.)


BRAINS ON FILM This site has a great collection of trailers for weird old movies, such as BLACK SHAMPOO, NIGHT OF THE BLOODY APES, CHEERLEADERS' BEACH PARTY and ILSA, SHE WOLF of the SS (which I'm afraid to say I own on DVD... don't ask...)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPACE WAITRESS


Tonight we celebrated le birthday d' Space Waitress. Let's pause a moment, shall we, and thank her for being so full of spunkajazzmo and making with the thoughtful observations and being our friend. It's weird that I've known her for quite a few years now. She and Doc Chameleon dated long ago, then after they broke up Chameleon started dating my dear friend Alisa who, though petite and bespectacled and funny and smart, was nothing like Spacey. I have to stop and wonder how much have we changed, and how much are we the same? Alisa is here this week under unfortunate circumstances. Back to tonight. We had a fantastic dinner and drinkies at Zelo downtown, where many shenanigans ensued and our waitron kindly tolerated us [ pics ]. Shenanigans escalated at Fuji-Ya, thanks to the unstoppable booty-bustin-grooves of DJ Aldric. Spontaneous dancefloor action with the De La Soul, the Michael Jackson, the Cool + the Gang and Cameo. Damn. I had so much fun. Cue Big Star, Thank You Friends.

NEVER GET OUTTA THESE BLUES ALIVE
Yeah, it's been a rough week. Nothin' sounds better to me right now than Junior Kimbrough. "The music is dark and vibrant, the sex nasty, the nights late and messy, and women not to be trusted." That's what I'm lookin' for. You can listen to the whole album. Look at his face here. That just says it all. He's like... he's like... mumbling through his cigarette. "Shit brother, we been had. " Shaking his head, you know. "No good... no good." I've also got a hankerin' for more John Lee Hooker. Whiskey and women and hellfire. I only have a weird cd called Free Beer & Chicken, an early 70's blues funkfest that blows my mind. Here are some videos of the man.

MEET HEATHER. Even if you've met Heather, you haven't met Heather. A blog for oversharing. Heather is a writer, actually an amazing writer. Because she is brave and honest. The flower smells good despite its brown-tinged edges.

MMM-MMM, COLD CHICKEN LEFTOVERS Check out Pete Townshend's take on Kurt Cobain's Journals (unedited version). Fimoculous has recovered from the election and has a fresh batch of such links you should check out. Same with Incoming Signals, who posted a sweet synopsis of the Shitbucket-Mondale debate. Salon has lotsa articles on this week's mess, including an article on Shitbucket's rise to power by Garrison Keillor.

Some funny things in new MN Blogs, via Ian Whitney:
THE DINGHY, a surreal blog obsessed with felt bucket hats, sez: "Vin Diesel has just arrived at my home wearing the most charming felt bucket on his head. "

WAITRESS DREAMS, with an IM exchange with mom I thought was funny:
mom: Hi mops--sorry about your man Mondale but daddy and I have often lived thru an all Democratic administration and we can tell you nothing changes as they are all alike. We had our usual luck in picking candidates and just to let you know we still love our girls--lov mom and dad
mopsa: yeah--I think war will be fun.
mopsa: I'm looking forward to it
mom: got to go to work now and will talk to you later lov ya mom
mopsa: see you
mom: bye

TIME TO RECOVER, REGROUP, AND KICK ASS
I think everyone is going through a lot of emotions. Disbelief, sadness, anger. I know I needed to vent, and post the nazi Bush picture, and say I'm moving to Canada. Already we're getting beyond that to "What's Next?" 2 years we have to get involved and take action. Myself, I'm most into the media aspect and feel that's where I can make a difference. I think we should also harness the power of Komedy and get the Komedy Koven to shed some light on this mess - the hypocrisy and greed and blind patriotism. While simulatneously working for the good, the light. Which light, I don't know.

Speaking of the light, Jesus is looking for a date.

ARE WE SCREWED? REPUBLICANS TAKE OVER
Roger Moe just conceded the Minnesota governorship to Pawlenty, very gracefully. He did point out that his campaign didn't make any promises they couldn't keep -- alluding to that fact that Pawlenty keeps insisting he won't raise taxes when everyone else says that's virtually impossible. I feel very bad for Moe. I just realized he's actually a very handsome fella - check him out as a young man. He's devoted his whole life to honest public service for Minnesota. In an interview after his concession, he seemed lost as to what he will do now.

This was a 4-way race. In light of the Democrat votes that went to Independence candidate Tim Penny, not to mention a few for Pentel, is it better to have more parties? I voted my conscience and I don't regret it, but still the question lingers.

HOW COULD MONDALE LOSE??? [ concession speech audio ] When the hell did our state turn Republican? They're all lurking in the suburbs and the northwoods I guess. Now the whole damn country is run by Republicans... the White House, Congress, and even the Supreme Court. Abortion rights? The environment? Wars? Big business? What are we in for? Everyone I know thought Mondale was a sure thing. I can't bring myself to say Senator Coleman. *shudder* We may have to move to Canada. And bitch a whole lot.

CHUCK OLSEN ISSUES ACCEPTANCE SPEECH ON HISTORIC ELECTION NIGHT

November 5, 2002
St. Paul, Minnesota — Marginal Minnesota filmmaker, blogger, and man-about-town Chuck Olsen today called a press conference to make an acceptance speech on this historic election night. As it became increasingly unclear what exactly Olsen was accepting, media crew disbanded shaking their heads. The speech appears to be a haphazard amalgamation of Nobel Peace Prize, Oscar, and other acceptance speeches.

Video of speech (Quicktime, 6 MB)   Transcript

MEANWHILE...
ELECTION RESULTS from the Minnesota Secretary of State.
Norm Coleman: Bush Puppet? [ new from Bush Boy ]

HAPPY ELECTION EVE
So much to talk about, so little time. My vote is private, but gossip columnists about town are reporting I may favor Ken Pentel for Governor and Walter Mondale for Senate. I can neither confirmate nor embellish such accumulations. Do yourself a favor, learn how our political system works and make a little bit of difference. And now for the weather. I had an intense documentary-soaked weekend. More on that later, when this sharp pain in my jaw subsides and I come up for air.

Googlism for: chuck olsen

    chuck olsen is the qualified professional you are looking for to handle real estate service
    chuck olsen is the all purpose web dude and local music fan
    chuck olsen is one of the first i know of who has a vision of what so many board members and congregations are missing
    chuck olsen is program director and staff mentor for worshipful... (?)

WHY DO YOU BLOG?
You there. Yes, you bloggy blog boy or girl. Why do you blog? (You do blog, don't you?) Why did you start a blog? And more questions. How has it affected your "real life"? Do your friends blog, and if they don't are they missing out on your life? This comes out of a conversation I had with Nathan Shedroff, who mentioned that when email came along many people eventually lost touch with friends and family that weren't on email. So share with me, dear blogger. Share and love, and hug. Then scream. Scream and run. Run as fast you possibly can. When you finally collapse, I shall find you. I shall pick you up gently and breathe life into you, and we will make sweet birdfeathery love. Whispers. From this union a demon child will be born, half-human and half-machine. It will blossom with our shared knowledge, and we shall become addicted to the smell of those blossoms. For it is the smell of ourselves. This child... called BLOG.