CHRISTMAS: NOT OVER TILL IT'S OVER
Whew. The lady and I spent Xmas eve at my aunt's first, which saw gratuitous fawning over such precious curios as a fiber-optic angel that played out-of-tune loudly distorted songs and countless delicate this-and-thats. "Nooooo. (Gasp) (Meaningful Look) What is this?! Would you look at that. Where does she shop? Did you see this?" And so on. At 1am we began Xmas eve proper with just my mom
and brother, which was much more calm and fun. Full booty list forthcoming, but just let me say it includes Dremel tools and Paul McCartney. My mom now has a digital camera to go with her bitchin' iMac. We didn't go to bed until 5am, and then up again for the other family's Xmas dinner out on the farm.
I love going out to the farm. There's farm-logic to everything, mostly concerning the preparation, consumption and cleaning up of food. And that's comforting. During dinner a beautiful red cardinal bashed into a window over and over. I should point out that in this window was a Yule log, one of those holiday traditions that seems fictional (like roasting chestnuts) until you see it for yourself. Yule log: a log with red candles sticking out of it, in this case. Was it the red candles that upset the cardinal so? Or his own reflection? Granny says it's nothing new - he's been banging into that window since last February.
Holy Jesus. A true Sisyphus among cardinals. It actually looked quite robust and healthy (physically, anyway) — perhaps all this bashing only makes it stronger. The cardinal's female companion just sat on a nearby branch looking annoyed. There's a message for humans here, I just know it. ("Open the goddamn window"?)
After dinner we took a quick jaunt around the field on the 4-wheeler. Now I'm not the sporting type, I'm barely even the driving type, but dang I sure love zipping around on a 4-wheeler. If I didn't have a lovely passenger on board I'd have tried to spin out in the snow, although that's when I'd get my leg pinned under it and regret having ever uncorked my testosterone. One more thing: Missing from the festivities was L's total babe cousin, who also happens to be a Secret Service Agent. Seems she just brought back some pheasants after going on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney in the Dakotas. Granted, she wasn't actually
hunting with Dick Cheney but rather sussing out the area and keeping guard, but at some point the Cheney hunting party gave her some pheasant. Okay - who are Dick Cheney's hunting buddies, and why would anyone let this man shoot a firearm? Next stop for superbabe Secret Service Agent: keeping an eye out over Bush at his 1,600-acre Prairie Chapel Ranch in Texas.
After a quiet Christmas night of gifts and Bailey's with my honey, it's time to do a bit of work. I hope you all had a smashing Christmas. Literally.
Play with my face!
[ via All Around the Web