That's the sound I'll be making Tuesday. Actually I'll be out cold getting my wisdom teeth out, probably not making any sounds until I wake up drooling and confused. Please tell me it's going to be a fun painless experience.
I did post a few pics to my hiplog
. WARNING: There is one kinda gross one. Blair Witch-gross.
I wanted to take more "before" pics but things moved fast, and they didn't quite understand why I'd want to take pictures. I'd never had surgery before. As they were about to stick the IV into my arm, they said I might not want to watch, but I was too fascinated not to. It's not every day you see a long syringe getting stuck into my arm. (Well, you know, except for my daily smack shootup.) Deeper and deeper, but something wasn't working right so they had to pull out and try another spot. Right about the time they were sticking it again, I got suuuuper light-headed and dizzy. They could tell I wasn't well and lowered me slowly down and raised my feet up. I've never felt so much like I was going to pass out in my life. They put oxygen on me (mmm, sweet sweet oxygen) and a cool damp rag on my forehead, and I was better in no time. They were all super nice and helpful, and I was telling them about the time there was an "oxygen bar" at a Walker After Hours with a variety of scents to choose from. "Well, I'm afraid all we have is rubber scented." Ahh, classic rubber scent - the original.
Soon I was floating through a heavenly psychedelic circus - riding on the giant furry balloon surrounded by my harem of whispery angels, their naked bosoms heaving oh-so-close... oh, wait. It wasn't like that at all. Why do they lie to me???
Contrary to what I'd heard, I wasn't put completely out. I was just conscious enough that they could say, "Charles, can you turn your head this way?" and I would apparently respond. I have a vague recollection of seeing them gathered around my head, "sectioning" my wisdom teeth, which sounds much nicer than "hacking my teeth into little chunks with buzzing power tools so's they can yank the little bastards outta my mouth." Now here I am with endless hunks of bloody gauze in my mouth waiting for Lori to return with more liquidy foods: strawberry kefir, an emerald smoothie, applesauce, juice, tofutti. Play is work and work is play! Tofutti break today!
I'm ever so thankful to my dear friend Cori for driving me there, waiting, picking up the meds I'm not supposed to sell on the street *
, and taking me home. Where would I be without my friends? Turns out I'd be in Thailand. Not sure why.
UNRELATED THING, I THINK: Vote for Reverse Cowgirl
as the weblogger you'd most like to see naked. You see, Wil Wheaton is winning. While I think that's funny on many levels, there is something fundmental and unchanging deep inside me that does not want to see Wil Whaton naked. (Yes, there are other things deep inside me but I won't discuss those right now.) Oh, did I mention Reverse Cowgirl is a total blogolicious babe? Please daddy, please let the karma reverse flow so I don't cry anymore, okay daddy? Daddy? Ohmigod, dadddeeeeeee nooooooooo!
Ooops, daddy was just napping, I have to run away now.
* One of my new drugs is Hydrocodone (pronounced hye-droe-koe-done). It's a narcotic that can produce a calm, euphoric state similar to heroin or morphine and is 6 times stronger than codeine! Yessssss! And it gets better: When ingested orally, Hydrocodone undergoes complex hepatic metabolism via O-demethylation, N-demethylation, and 6-keto reduction to the corresponding 6-alpha- and 6-beta-hydroxy active metabolites! Tell me I'm dreaming, folks. Or at least really high.