TONY PIERCE IS FUCKING GOD
Tonite I wanted to see the robot band. Bad. By the way I'm drunk right now. Instead we went to see Mike Gunther and His Wailing Souls. Because I know two of those wailing souls, and they're all about purging that ol' devil from your veins. Robots don't know how ta purge the devil from yo veins.

Here's why tony pierce is fucking awesome:
today's bob hope's 100th birthday. fuck bob hope.
see, that is some funny, funny shit right there.

the question of the day is, how depressed can you really be if your fingers smell of nineteen yr old danish pussy?
this needs no comment. genius self-evident.

man, i just wanna hang out with tony piece and kate sullivan and moxie and all those guys, and rock out to tsar and get drunk. But, I do love Minneapolis. East coast bloggers love Fischerspooner, West coast bloggers tard out over Tsar. Who rocks the Midwest blog posse? I think it's Lifter Puller. Are you with me?

One of those wailing souls made my day. It was rainy and crappy today, but when I got to work there was a little ink drawing. She drew me a deluxe-mustachio'd ape wearing funky underwear called Mr. Nice-n-Tidy. She also drags chains over an oil drum and plays trumpet. But now my honey is sleepy and so am I. My birthday is Wednesday -- everyone give me $5 thru my paypal buttton okay? June 4, Gemini rocket power. Did I mention my ISP is trying to jack me into getting my own server, cuz the Blogumentary trailer and ancillary footage have eaten up gobs of bandwidth? It's true. I'll personally grab the crotch of everyone who donates $5!

Brittney's blog/webcam

FAST SPEEDBOAT, FUN SPACESHOWER

Happy Friday to ya. Here's a little 15 second commercial I did for the Speedboat Art Gallery, specifically for a show called Collaboration featuring these too-cool-4-school Japanese art kids. The dude is especially into American culture. He was wearing a shirt that said "WHO THE FUCK IS MICK JAGGER?" (we had to tape over the -UCK), he had a riff-rock band and apparently just bought a camaro. My hero!

Speedboat Art Gallery commercial (3 MB)

"I truly believe there is an opportunity for blogs to have an impact in Iraq. There should be blogs coming out of Cuba, there should be blogs coming out of China. It is a way for the people to say what is on their mind. It's the people's medium."

JEFF JARVIS ON BLOGS, JOURNALISM AND DEMOCRACY
Carmela is a Brazilian journalism student writing her thesis about blogs, and using Blogumentary as a sort of recurring theme to illustrate her points. I can't tell you how flattering and gratifying that is. If the only useful thing to come out of this project is to help journalism students and researchers, I'll be quite happy. I also got email from a Brazilian journalist wanting to know all about my project, and do I plan to cover non-English speaking blogs? Jeff Jarvis would say I'm building a bridge, and "swimming the Brazilian blogger pond."

I offered to post some raw footage for Carmela to use in her thesis, since the trailer itself is more experiential than informational. I knew what to post first. Y'all think I'm an Anil-whore – entirely true – but really I'm all about the Jarvis. This is raw footage, but he's so lucid and fluent on various aspects of blogging you'd swear it was scripted and rehearsed. Nope, just straight-talk from a really media-savvy guy building blog bridges to Germany and Iran.

Jeff Jarvis on blogs, journalism and democracy (16 MB)

WHAT DOES AMERICA STAND FOR AGAIN?
Red Cross denied access to PoWs
"Up to 3,000 Iraqis - some of them civilians - believed to be gagged, bound, hooded and beaten at US camps close to Baghdad airport ."

US plans death camp
"The US has floated plans to turn Guantanamo Bay into a death camp, with its own death row and execution chamber. Prisoners would be tried, convicted and executed without leaving its boundaries, without a jury and without right of appeal." [ MeFi thread ]

This is sickening. We can't allow power-hungry rage and vengeance to steer us into Nazi territory. We're better than that. Meanwhile, we clearly we need an international involvement in establishing better human rights conditions in Iraq - Amnesty International has one possible plan.

Know Your War Profiteers card deck [via Something to Think About ]

MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING: SUCKS A BIG FAT EGG
Today – this lovely day – I shaved my fat cat, had beer and veggie brats at a BBQ, and rounded off the nite with a little on-demand video. We really wanted to see Far From Heaven but it was too late and we were in the mood for fluff. But my god, who knew fluff could be so painful? We may be the last people on earth who haven't seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I know I should be talking about The Matrix: Reloaded, but i'm in complete agreement with Doc Chameleon on that. Back to the Wedding. Okay, I'm sure my mom probably loved it. All moms everywhere are forgiven for liking this movie, as well as Analyze This and related fodder. As for the rest of you – what's your excuse? This movie is a steaming pile of goat crap. We were prepared for a feel-good sleeper hit. What we got was a feel-nothing sleeping pill. This piece of commercial pap had me fooled with it's indie-makes-it-big IFC Films pedigree, but you'd have a hard time finding a more generic Hollywood script in Syd Field's Screenwriting for Dummies. Andrea Martin, who is curiously absent from Christopher Guest's films, is a tiny salvation. She comes out of nowhere with the only line that really made me laugh. The rest of the film is aiming so low I have to wonder if it was improv. Nia Vardalos, the bride, did her Molly Shannon-best. Her groom is played by John Corbett – remember the DJ on Northern Exposure? – who you haven't seen in ten years for a reason. There was a single moment of genuine emotion at the end, a father-daughter acceptance moment. Then they move next door to her Greek family, repeat the past and live happily ever after. Great, I wonder what's up next on the Lifetime Network?

ON ELECTION DAY 2004, HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF YOUR VOTE IS PROPERLY COUNTED? 
ANSWER:  YOU WON’T. Rep. Rush Holt Introduces Legislation to Require All Voting Machines To Produce A Voter-Verified Paper Trail

ETERNAL LIFE GETS FIRST PRIZE
Awww yeah! We were pretty surprised, but the Komedy Koven's commercial for the concept of eternal life took the top spot at the Low Voltage Film Festival saturday nite. It prominently features Doc Chameleon as "Birdman" (pictured) and Space Waitress as the unstoppably perky "Pam." I handled the production and post-production, with a brief appearance as "I feel like 15 scoops of ice cream" guy. Maggie and Lorika round out this entertaining yet creepy little ad:

Eternal Life commercial
Eternal Life 2.0 which is more light-hearted and surftastic.

Also: the panoramic view from atop Mt. Everest is breathtaking.
NY Times article on photo blogs.

BLOGTALK IN PROGRESS
Oh how I wish I was there. But I am on the program Saturday at 2:55 PM Austrian time, which is 7:55 AM Minneapolis time. Live blogging and video stream here. Of course, I already have a better version of the Blogumentary trailer than the one they are showing...

BLOGUMENTARY TRAILER v1.1 (Quicktime, 15MB)

BUG FIXES: Shorter, most people now identified by name, better sound, Anil is more visible... and fewer hand shots!

FIGHT THE POWER: TAKE PIX @ STARBUXX!
Remember the Starbucks/Sopranos incident? Seems I'm not alone - Stanford cyberlaw guru Lessig lit the fire -- blog rebels everywhere, go to your local Starbuxx this weekend and take pictures! It's against corporate policy! Their brand is clearly sick.

THE PLOT THICKENS
Rex alerted me to another (mock)blogumentary. Whew, the heat is off me now. This one features Bazima and vice-versa. Bazima sweetheart, I know you're not a blogumentary whore, but got any room for a lil' Blogumentary side dish? Actually, to be really incestuous, maybe we can all film each other. With clothes on, you perverts. I keep spouting about wanting to see 1,000 blogumentaries sprout up. My God, it's begun! The sentinels are unleashed! Maybe all that NYC footage everyone complains about will make sense after all.

One thing. After watching the Blogumentary trailer, several people have said, "What? For more info about blogs, visit my local library????" Umm... IT'S A JOKE!

LOCAL WANGO TANGO
The action is definitely at Complicated Fun. Peter gots the sex and the rock, and there's gotta be drugs in there somewhere. Now when is the TC Babelogue going to give me mad props again? I've become a link-hungry bastard and I don't care. RAAAR! Movie tip: The Two Towers is playing over at Riverview this weekend. I'm so there. I yearn to see a sequel that doesn't have to be coolerlouderfaster than its predecessor.

And here's some heady blogumentary talk.

BLOG LOVE TO THE MAX
Everyone refers to him as "the obnoxious guy." His name is Seth and I happen to think he's hilarious. Okay, he was obnoxious but that's because he was drunk. "What inspired you to start a blog?" I asked. Well, Joshua Marshall of Talking Point Memo. But, umm, he says a bit more than that. All in good fun, folks!

Watch the clip (Quicktime, 2MB)
Watch the clip (Windows media, 1MB)

UPDATE! Seth discovers this video clip and is sick to his stomach. But we cool now. Give it up for Seth everybody. By the way, Seth has never ever ever actually seen, touched, or otherwised been in any legal or imaginary proximity to Mr. Marshall. That goes out to Seth's Yale legal team, who are probably glad they avoided my camera that night.

LOVE IT/HATE IT
Thanks to all the fine folks who've linked to the trailer and emailed me in the last 24 hours... I love you all, deeply and quite honestly pornographically.

Christ, the pacing on that trailer is *awful*. What's up with all the psuedo-Koyaanisqatsi shots of people hithering-and-yonning, and the subway flashing by - should we infer that blogging is a New York-centric activity? And is the narrator *trying* to sound like Agent Smith in the intro?

For more fine comments like these, the real action is on MetaTalk!

EUROPEAN BLOGUMENTARY: Can anyone translate this? Looks Czech. Looks cool.

Also: Blog with your heart, not your ass.

Watch the trailer v1.1 (Quicktime, 16MB)      Watch the trailer (Windows , 13MB)

BLOGUMENTARY PREVIEW TRAILER v1.0
You know you want it! Rebecca Blood, Matt Haughey, Meg Hourihan, Jason Kottke, Anil Dash, Jeff Jarvis, David Weinberger, and all those funny people on the street who don't know what a blog is. And a few who do. It's all here in my first crack at a trailer for Blogumentary, which I was up all night editing and FedEx'd to Vienna for the blogtalk conference. I touch on several themes: blog origins, 9/11 impact, relationships. I didn't even get to journalism, one of my main themes. Much more work to do getting the blog story. Work like this. I want to talk to that blogger in Kentucky, find the bloggers you haven't heard of who are making (or breaking) relationships with their blogs, making their voices heard, telling their story.

That's why I need you, dear blogfan. "What? Me? But, but... how can I help? Also, why would I help cuz I don't actually like you or your stupid movies?" Well here's how, blog-hater. Note the shiny new PayPal link, which is currently my only source of funding for this documentary. Now, you could certainly do other things with your blog monies... you could give it to the fat kid or the naughty girl for example, both frigging excellent causes. But let's talk about the real cause celeb. This is bottom-up. This is open-source. You are the celeb, you superstar. And you oughta be in pictures:

$50 DONATION and I will link your name on a very special Thank You web page.
$100 DONATION will get your name in the credits. And the link.
$1000 DONATION Ready for your closeup? You appear in Blogumentary. Seriously. It might only be for two seconds, and I might make fun of you, but you'll be there. "You sellout whore!" you say. Ha ha ha, oh mom! Seriously, I don't have any ethical problem with this. It's alternative funding. Also, it's my documentary and I can do whatever I want, including interview my cutting edge funders -- why not?
$10,000 DONATION gets you an Executive Producer credit and, I don't know, a blow job or something.

My comments seem to be down, but email me baby!

NINE YEAR-OLD BLOGGER
Look at what terrific email I've been getting. Here's a nine year-old kid named Alex that's nuts about basketball and blogs about it. Imagine if he wanted to be a sports writer, how much experience he'll have writing about his passion from such a young age. I remember having to write in my journal at school, but the teacher would usually write the topic on the board. Why not give every kid a blog and let them blog about something they love? Video games, dead squirrels, whatever. Blogs in school I say, blogs and condoms. Okay, just blogs for the nine year-olds.

Hi Chuck,
My son Alex is a major basketball fan and he's only 9 years old. He's got a blog site I'd like you to look at:

www.basketballnotesbyalex.blogspot.com

It's a great way to express yourself. I encourage my son to keep writing and I wish you good luck with your venture.

All the best,
Octavine

'SUP FOOLS
I'm working 'round the clock on a Blogumentary trailer for the blogtalk conference in Vienna, Austria next week. It will probably suck a little, being my first shot at assembling something from all this footage. I've been getting some great email suggestions on where to go with this bad boy - keep 'em coming. Meanwhile...

Matrix Reloaded rocked. FX were mind-blowing. Questions remain. Beer and philosophizing are a must.

Gov Pawlenty pushes budget through. I'd say the Dems pussed out, but I should have done more.

I say, have you been to the Pussy Ranch?

NY Times discovers Gawker. I'll post my interview with the lovely/sassy Ms. Spiers soon.

Got drugz for my sinus infection, no doubt stemming from my wisdom teeth removal.

I had a White Stripes concert dream. Meg wasn't there, Jack White was all cool in sunglasses playing guitar and a different cool dude in shades was singing - in Jack White's voice. Like Jack White split into two people. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut Meg out of the Stripes - honest! Did I mention I'm a Gemini?

LISTENING: White Stipes Elephant (duh), Beta Band, Junior/Senior, Joy Division after hearing them at Brit's Pubs last night.

LUNAR ECLIPSE, BACK PORCH, 11:52 PM

THE BIG GUY SHOW
I'd sure like to talk about The Big Guy's national tv show, but we just got told we can't talk about it with anybody. So seeing as how I want to keep my job, I'm keeping my mouth shut. I think The Big Guy should have a blog, or the production should have a blog, but I've been too intimidated to approach them.

In my continuing effort to alienate Blogumentary visitors, here's another batch of photos. I'm working like mad the next week to make a Blogumentary trailer for the blogtalk conference in Vienna and apply for a Jerome grant. Of course I'll squeeze in the Spectors/Hang Ups show and Matrix Reloaded... anybody see it yet?

Fresh linkage from Fimoculous:

Walker Art Center has dismantled it's new media team - or at least beheaded it, with the unfortunate dismissal of new media maven and nice guy Steve Dietz.

a really cool new Radiohead video

From my man Bart... fashion ideas?

MACRO LENS TOY SHOWER

Sorry to turn this into a photo blog, but I was going nuts taking pix of little toys and things in my office tonight. I love love love this Sony DSC-F707 camera with it's insane macro lens and 5 megapixels of juice. You can literally put things against the lens and they'll be in focus. Not that I recommend doing that. When I first borrowed this camera from work we played around with it a lot and fell in love. Macro Lens Space Shower was the offspring of that love. We got one for ourselves after xmas on eBay for around $700. It's a constant source of creative mojo.

MACRO LENS TOY SHOWER: View the pix

Also. Kate Sullivan lifts me up and blows my mind. If you have a little time to learn-feel-drift-reminisce - read about her days at Immaculate Heart school in Hollywood. Something like Dead Poets Society meets the Pooh Sticks' "Young People" (MP3).

PIX OF NYC
Sick of NYC recollections? Too bad, so sad, hahahhha! (annoying high school tardo laugh, followed by rubber fingers and farting noises) Here are some NYC pics that Lori and I took. More video forthcoming, including the NYC Yo La Tengo show. I should mention that today I performed in a TV show pilot as Guiseppe Vargas, the amazing plate spinner. I have a thin sleazy moustache and red velvet jacket. And a fez. I held cue cards. It was chaotic and swank all at once. Not as fun as Komedy Koven though.

 COLLECTION 1: NYC 2003 A few samples.




 COLLECTION 2: NYC ART 2003 Mostly art from the Met.



For more hot photo action, visit crazy white girl with a keyboard, Rannie the Photojunkie, Heather Champ, Mirror Project, and Sharyn who participated in the May Day Project.

WHO'S HOTTER: REBECCA ROMIJN-STAMOS OR ALAN CUMMING?
X2 totally rocks, right? The first one had a greater impact on me, and I think things get a little muddled... but still, it rocks hard. Speaking of rock hard -- sorry -- when are we supposed to stop drooling over the hotties? Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as Mystique (not to mention as herself, seducing the security guard)... yowsers. Then there's Alan Cumming, who should've simply appeared as himself in this outfit, which surely gives him mutant superpowers. Need I mention Halle Berry as Storm. Anna Paquin probably shouldn't smile this hard but still, total hottie when she looks like a startled goth fawn. Hell, even Patrick Stewart is hot. This may be my shallowest blog entry ever.

Meanwhile...

Happy Blogiversary Space Waitress!

Ernie has a 10-sided die of "i don't think so."

BLOGS ARE THE DEVIL
Having spent last Tuesday evening taping footage of the NYC subway, I decided to have a drink and go ask people in Times Square about blogs. Let me tell you, this is a lot of fun. What a rush going up to people and engaging them. "Hey, hey -- can I ask you a question? Do you know what a blog is?" A what? A who-which now? Fortunately, the vast majority of people have no idea. So my blogumentary might be vaguely relevant for another 30 seconds.

I ran into this corner street preacher and turned my camera on him. He started preaching louder into the camera about how God is going to pull the plug on America in 2005 if we don't return to the bible, something about 66 years from the start of WWII. I let him go on for a looooong time about this, then when he started repeating himself I said, "Can I ask you a question? Do you know what a blog is?" I tried to explain blogs to him, and how he could use one to deliver his (completely insane) message. You know, preaching my own sermon about the Good Blog. He says, "Unfortunately, your program comes into conflict with God's laws." Holy crap - blogs are breaking God's laws? Apparently blogs, not to mention all communication technology and reflective surfaces, are breaking the 2nd Commandment: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. But, but... "If you see yourself reflected in my eyes, does that make me evil? Does it make you evil?" Yes, I'm afraid so. Also, God is going to destroy the world. So dear friends, I must retire this blog and go live in the desert where there is no water to see my reflection. I am now Syphlidius, the Naked Nomad of Tomorrow. Join me, won't you? Just don't look into my eyes.

Watch the clip (Quicktime, 13MB)
Watch the clip (Quicktime, 9MB)

ANIL DASH MEETS THE SOPRANOS
Last thursday I met Anil at the SoHo Strawbucks Coffee for an interview. I called Strawbucks ahead of time to see if I could interview there, and they said it was fine as long as I didn't interview the staff. Cool. The nice thing about many Strawbucks in NYC is they have wireless Net access, which could prove handy if you're - say - doing a blogumentary.

As I was setting up a woman with black hair and tinted glasses started asking what I was doing. She had a really thick Jersey accent. "Blowug? What's a blowug?" She was really nice, an actress apparently, and I thought - hey, why not have Anil explain blogs to her on-camera? They were cool with that, so I put a second camera on her. Suddenly the Strawbucks barrista appears and says, "Umm, you can't film here, it's company policy." But I called and the guy said-- "Are you pulling my leg? You can't film here." Ugh. So I start the cams rolling and told them to start talkin' while I straighten this out. After a couple of hostile interactions with the manager and a corporate phone call, he made me stop rolling. Okay, okay.... so I hit stop on cam#1 and closed the screen. When he turned around I hit record again. I went into the bathroom to try calling the corporate marketing honcho. After a couple of minutes there was a pounding on the door. I realized he probably saw my cam#2 rolling and was really pissed.

I didn't realize HOW pissed until I watched the tape. Strawbucks was threatening to call the police, and NYC actress lady was all like, "Don't cwall da police... he's just a guy, trying to make a little living. Look, don't cwall da police, he'll take it down." She and Anil snickered when it was safe. She says, "I hafta be on set today, I can't get arrested! " Anil asks where she works. "I'm on the Sopranos." Whoa! Her name is Katherine Narducci and she plays Charmaine Bucco. No wonder she was so good at saying "Don't cwall da police." Thank you Anil and Katherine for defending guerilla filmmakking.

Watch the clip (Quicktime, 5MB)